Reflections on 1L

I’m not entirely sure how to start this post off, so let’s start from the very beginning. (a very good place to start…)

I had always known that I wanted to go to law school. I spent my entire life arguing with my manic depressive, nutrient deficient, and overall bat shit crazy mother, so I figured that if I could argue against the illogical ramblings of a lunatic, I could argue against anyone. And I mean, I’m kind of right. I love to argue. I’m also a good reader and writer, which is an absolute prerequisite to law school. An advisor once told me to major in something where I had to read and write a lot, and also something I would enjoy enough to get good grades in.

Fast forward to graduating magna cum laude with a bachelor’s degree in history and political science, and an associate’s in American Studies (lol whatever the fuck that is).

I had to choose a law school. In the Philadelphia area, you have 5 options: Penn (hahahahahahahahahaha), Temple, Drexel, Vanilla-Nova (sorry not sorry), and Widener (yikes). With my shitty, shitty LSAT score of a 153, there was no chance for Penn or Temple. And, no offense to anyone who goes to Widener Law, but I knew it wasn’t going to be academically challenging enough for me. So there I was left with Drexel and Villanova, the former offered me a little over 50% scholarship, while the latter (stingy bitches) offered squattata. I knew Villanova would just be a better fit for me: it was closer to my house, it was in the suburbs like where I went to undergrad, and the four other lawyers in my family had all went there. But alas, not wanting to be poor forever, I chose Drexel Law.

And if we’re being completely honest, I regret it a little bit.

Drexel is a phenomenal school. I am constantly amazed at the wisdom of my professors, the breadth and practical use of the things I’m learning, and the lengths at which the school will go to help you succeed. The classes I take are extremely interesting and challenging, and I cannot wait for the classes I’m taking next semester. (Intro to Trial Advocacy, Evidence, Employment Discrimination, Family Law, and the Marshall Brennan Program). But, it wasn’t always roses.

Things that Sucked

#1: The Commute.

I commute on the train every day to school, which, combined with my drive to the train, totals about 1 hour 40 minutes each way, 3 hours 20 minutes total. Sometimes longer, rarely shorter. It once took me 4 and a half hours just to get home from school because of the SEPTA strike. That takes an insane toll on me. It makes me never want to stay at school and socialize, or come to clubs activities. It eventually got easier as I adapted: learning how to get on the subway to cut out an extra mile of walking everyday, buying a chromebook instead of my heavy macbook, remembering to have lots of snacks and a water bottle. but really, it’s still hard. I wished I lived in the city but I have about $1000 to my name and I can’t afford an apartment. I wish I could take out loans to live in the city but (remember my crazy mother from the beginning? yeah, not gonna happen).

 #2: The Attitudes of the People Around Me.

It’s probably just every law school, but sometimes the people around me are just douchebags. The overall atmosphere is cold, competitive, and sometimes downright rude. I would say 70% of the people in law school are nice, normal, people. And the other 30% are absolute dickbags. I never had trouble making friends in high school and college, and this year took the wind out of my sails. I have a two close friends, and I absolutely would have dropped out without them. I need them to vent to, to cry with, to bring me up when I felt down. But the connections I have with my West Chester people will always be deeper and stronger. I think next year will be better, as I will have smaller classes with different people. So hopefully this will help.

#3: The Sheer Volume of Shit to Do

100+ pages of reading a night, plus constant research for a brief, plus two oral arguments, plus a stressful group project with motions and a ten minute statutory argument, plus the gripping fear of getting cold called on… it adds up. The stress is unlike anything I had every felt. More often than not I ended up not briefing, only just skimming through what i had to read, and never taking the time study outside of what I felt like i absolutely had to do.

#4: Living at Home

This might have been the worst part for me. My parents are extremely overbearing and unable to recognize that I am an adult who does not want to spend time with them at all. They wouldn’t bother me if I was in my room with the door closed, but the constant nagging, having to explain where I’m going, telling me to clean my room when I’m 23… Easily the most detrimental factor to my mental health.

Honestly I might peace next year and take out loans to live closer to the city. Fingers crossed.

#5: Not having the time or energy to be with my friends.

After an 8+ hour day of law school and commuting, I had no desire to be with any other human on the planet. I really just wanted to lay and bed and try to turn my brain off. After reading so much and being lectured at for 4+ hours every day, plus walking 2 miles,  plus 3-4 hours of commuting every day, I just couldn’t do anything. I don’t even have the desire to text my friends. I sound horrible saying that, and I need to get better on that next year (if they don’t hate me already).

Things that were actually ok.

1#: Leaving every weekend to be with my boyfriend

I would always try to work hard during the week so I wouldn’t have to do anything on the weekends. he is the only peace I ever got. but, if you saw my last post, he moved 6+ hours away 2 days ago.

so yea. I don’t know how this next year is going to go…

2#: I got pretty decent grades my first semester and I ended up getting ranked.

I worked by ass off, but I ended up with As and Bs (LOL MOSTLY Bs). But I kept my scholarship, and ended up #44 out of 111 people (only the top half gets ranked so I barely squeaked by). I seriously thought I would get about 2 Cs and 2 Bs. And I actually think I did better this semester! Of course I say that now and I probably do worse, but here’s to hoping!

So yeah, it was shitty year, but I’m still standing.

I am not giving up, and I truly believe next year will be better. But we’ll see.

 

Eventually I will make a “how to survive 1L guide” but for now, back to my regular scheduled beauty posts. Thanks for reading this far.

Again, this isn’t really for other people to read. “Not interesting, just catharsis.” But if you cared to read this far, thank you ❤ xo

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